Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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