so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize