you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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