Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
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at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
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It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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