Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
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Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
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I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize