i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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