I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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