i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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