you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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