Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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