it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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