The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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