I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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