i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
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She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
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I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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