I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize