so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
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Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
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