so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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