Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize