we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
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Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
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Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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