dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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