Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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