matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
it's great music for shaving your balls
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize