I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize