I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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