I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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