the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
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