She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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