One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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