she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
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Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
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Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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