If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize