just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
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if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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