All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize