He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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