if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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