Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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