i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize