The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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