those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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