They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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