I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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