yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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