I just saw a hot homeless man
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
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