And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize