I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
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After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
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I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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