I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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