I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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