I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
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I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
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i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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