Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize