He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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