I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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